Jagr Comeback Percentage Breakdown

Once and Future NHL Superstar Jaromir Jagr is on his way on a plane to New York to announce his return to play in North America.

Here is my percentage breakdown of chances Jagr says the following when stepping off the Plane in JFK this afternoon:

80% “I’m going back to my hockey roots and playing for the Pittsburgh Penguins. I’m honored to be working for my hockey idol Mario Lemieux and thrilled to be playing with great young talents such as Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Kris Letang. My one condition: the team goes back to its mid-90s odd colored alternate jerseys with the triangle pigeon logo so I can truly feel at home.”

11% “I’m looking forward for a new opportunity to play in Soff Euro-troit. Their non-physical, absolutely no fighting, puck possession, subtle interference running, skate all over the neutral zone style is exactly the kind of hockey my game is tailored for.”

5% “Je suis super a excité à être le prochain Européen énigmatique pour venir à Montréal être adoré comme un dieu bizarre. J'aimerais remercier mon google traduit application de téléphone pour ce texte prêt.”

1% “I’m taking my talents to South Beach and signing with the Florida Panthers. Like Lebron, I will demand a contract where I get to take off the final period of crucial playoff games.”

1% “I would like to come here to America to announce my retirement from pro-hockey to pursue a lifelong dream of chasing the lochness monster around the Scottish Highlands”

1% “I’m just here for a quick trip down to the Jersey City blackjack tables, what are all you media types doing here?”

1% Gets off plane, runs over to high-five Mario Lemieux, makes a sharp turn at the last second, from behind a pillar out jumps Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Chris Pronger. They beat down Lemieux unmercifully, Jagr rips off his Pens jersey to reveal a NWO/Flyer sweater underneath. Lays out the Big Guy with a stinky leg drop then hoists him back up in order to super kick him through a plate glass window. They spray paint the limp body of the Penguins owner while Brent Johnson glares down from the rafters dressed like Brandon Lee.

Mike Richards and the Flyers Goalie-Go-Round

Mike Richards is the Captain of the Philadelphia Flyers in the sense that he wears the letter 'C' upon his jersey. That is all. The real leader in that room, the one guys look to when the sailing get stormy, is Chris Pronger. For all of his badboy reputation Pronger is an Alpha Male's Alpha Male.

Richards comes off far too often as both a petulant brat with the media, and a guy whose play on the ice goes over the line and should not garner respect around the league. He makes too many borderline and dirty plays, then leaves his mates to clean up his mess and finish what he starts. He was also identified by his own team as part of a group of young players too focused on nightlife and not enough on gamenight.

On ice he has been involved in more than his share of questionable incidents, and yet he is never grouped in when 'dirty' plays are discussed. His hit on David Booth of the Florida Panthers was a carbon copy of Matt Cooke's infamous leveling of Marc Savard, both in intent, follow through, and results, yet nobody caused a fuss over it.

These playoffs Richards has been at it again, he was tossed from game four for throwing an elbow into the chin of an oncoming Patrick Kaleta of the Buffalo Sabres. An elbow to the head in "self defense" is still an elbow to the head. I don't know what Richards was "defending" himself from yesterday when he sent Sabres forward Tim Connolly face first into the boards. Another notch on Richards holster, and the league's overlords once again turn a blind eye toward the Flyer's head hunter.

The Flyers as a team meanwhile continue to hunt for a legitimate playoff goaltender. They started this series with the Sabres depending on rookie Sergei Bobrovsky, but after falling down 2 games to none have switched to some unholy combination of Michael Leighton and Brian Boucher. It has pulled them even with the Sabres at 3 games apiece, but it hasn't been pretty. Even if the Flyers do somehow survive this first round it is only a matter of time until this weakness in net comes back to bite them in the playoffs. Again.

The Flyers have invested way too much in Mike Richards to walk away from him, in contract term, length, and naming him Captain before he was ready to act like one. Where the Flyers have always short changed themselves is in net. And it continues to comeback to haunt them.

NHL Injury Updates and thoughts on NATO

The Washington Capitals announced today that Captain Alex Ovechkin will be out 7-10 days with an undisclosed injury. The team has also been missing Mike Green with a concussion, but he should be back within the week.
Brooks Orpik should be returning to Penguins practice soon from a hand injury. The huge news for the Pens is that Sidney Crosby has been skating and working out with no return of symptoms from his concussion. There are also whispers in the Burgh that Evgeni Malkin is making 'amazing' progress rehabing from his knee surgery.
The Conference leading Flyers will be missing chief pugilist Chris Pronger with a broken hand till early April. Jody Shelley also went hard into the boards and is suffering with facial injuries.
The Tampa Bay Lightning are missing foward Ryan Malone who hopes to get back at some point in the playoffs.
The Detroit Redwings have been dinged up for months, but the vet heavy squad expects to have pretty much all hands on deck come playoff time.
The Wings primary rival, The Chicago Blackhawks, lost leading scorer Patrick Sharp to a 'lower-body' injury for the next two weeks.
The Vancouver Canucks lost Center Manny Malhotra for the rest of the year with an eye injury that required surgery. The Nucks have also has a boatload of blueliners go down.
Finally: The Edmonton Oilers have lost Ryan Whitney for the season with an ankle injury. But the last place squads loss has been the world's gain as @ryanwhitney6 has officially surpassed @BizNasty2point0 as the most amusing hockey player to follow on twitter.


NATO was set up as a defense pact by Western Nations during the Cold War in order to coordinate and provide symmetry for the defense strategies of Western Europe and the United States. Its mission was very clear: to keep the West safe despite its disadvantage in conventional forces by leveraging its members advanced weapon systems in a unified manner. Now the Cold War is over two decades gone, and the once elite status of NATO membership has given way to a sprawling bureaucratic nightmare of cross purposed nations. It is a relic that has outlasted its political usefullness and is only strategically valuable for the command stucture it gives its member nations in joint military operations. If the combat in Libya has proven one thing, its that NATO has become unruly and redundant and needs to be consigned to the dustbin of history next to the Warsaw Pact.