Jagr Comeback Percentage Breakdown

Once and Future NHL Superstar Jaromir Jagr is on his way on a plane to New York to announce his return to play in North America.

Here is my percentage breakdown of chances Jagr says the following when stepping off the Plane in JFK this afternoon:

80% “I’m going back to my hockey roots and playing for the Pittsburgh Penguins. I’m honored to be working for my hockey idol Mario Lemieux and thrilled to be playing with great young talents such as Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Kris Letang. My one condition: the team goes back to its mid-90s odd colored alternate jerseys with the triangle pigeon logo so I can truly feel at home.”

11% “I’m looking forward for a new opportunity to play in Soff Euro-troit. Their non-physical, absolutely no fighting, puck possession, subtle interference running, skate all over the neutral zone style is exactly the kind of hockey my game is tailored for.”

5% “Je suis super a excité à être le prochain Européen énigmatique pour venir à Montréal être adoré comme un dieu bizarre. J'aimerais remercier mon google traduit application de téléphone pour ce texte prêt.”

1% “I’m taking my talents to South Beach and signing with the Florida Panthers. Like Lebron, I will demand a contract where I get to take off the final period of crucial playoff games.”

1% “I would like to come here to America to announce my retirement from pro-hockey to pursue a lifelong dream of chasing the lochness monster around the Scottish Highlands”

1% “I’m just here for a quick trip down to the Jersey City blackjack tables, what are all you media types doing here?”

1% Gets off plane, runs over to high-five Mario Lemieux, makes a sharp turn at the last second, from behind a pillar out jumps Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Chris Pronger. They beat down Lemieux unmercifully, Jagr rips off his Pens jersey to reveal a NWO/Flyer sweater underneath. Lays out the Big Guy with a stinky leg drop then hoists him back up in order to super kick him through a plate glass window. They spray paint the limp body of the Penguins owner while Brent Johnson glares down from the rafters dressed like Brandon Lee.

Monday Morning Notebook (04.11.V5-1)

*The US Government averted a Federal partial shutdown that would have been short sighted, harmful, and done nothing to deal with our Country's long term issues. If you want to applaud barely functional govt. go ahead, but I will continue my plan to fix Congress after a short delay to write about the upcoming NHL playoffs.

*Cory Clouston was fired as head coach of the Ottawa Senators, but GM/past and future coach Bryan Murray was extended 3 years by the team, which is a bit of a surprise. I think the Sens are a club screaming for new blood and a fresh approach. Murray should have been canned as well.

*The African Union, an organization that Muammar Gaddafi has worked well with in the past, is trying to broker a cease fire in the Libyan Civil War. Rebel command in Benghazi counters that nothing short of Gaddafi stepping down will bring an end to this conflict.
*Jacques Lemaire will go back into retirement and will not come back to coach the New Jersey Devils next season. Lemaire almost rallied the Devils to a miraculous playoff apperance after a putrid start to the season, but fell short. No tears will be shed here for the loss to Swamp Hockey.

*Peter DeBoer was also let go by the Florida Panthers, who have been without any clear direction for years. They need something big to change the direction of that franchise in South Florida.

*Congrats to the Minnesota-Duluth Bulldogs on winning their 1st NCAA hockey national title, beating the Michigan Wolverines in overtime for the championship game.

NHL Trade Deadline Update

Been a quiet morning for the NHL trade deadline day. Reports are that the General Managers who hold the rental players are asking way too much in return. I expect at least a few of those bottom dwelling teams blink and start dealing guys off in the afternoon. Biggest deal so far: Niclos Bergfors from the Atlanta Thrashers to the Florida Panthers for Radek Dvorak. Atlanta gave up too much there, imo. They got Bergfors as a center-piece to the deal for Ilya Kovalchuck with the New Jersey Devils last year and he has shown goal scoring promise. I don't see why they would give up on that potential they so coveted last year for a short term fill in, which is all Dvorak brings them. There is a reason this is a franchise yet to win a playoff game.
Biggest deal that WON'T happen: Brad Richards of the Dallas Stars to the New York Rangers for a king's ransom. Start with the Rangers 1st round pick, add in two of their young performing roster guys, and you may have a deal, but I don't think even Glenn Sather would gove up that much for the UFA to be. Then again... Its Sather.

Frolik will shine with Hawks

The NHL trade deadline is still a few weeks away, but the Chicago Blackhawks got an early jump on the annual hockey swap-meet by dealing for Michael Frolik of the Florida Panthers. True, the Czech winger who was once dubbed "little Jagr", is having a down year numbers-wise and was recently buried in the Sun-Cats lineup, but make no mistake: this was a steal for the defending champs. Frolik has the speed, vision, and offensive instincts to be a great weapon on a front loaded team of skilled forwards like Chicago. Frolik is still quite a young player at 22 and already has two 20-goal seasons under his belt with room to grow. Coming to a team like the Blackhawks should be a jolt of energy to a young man who seems to have been playing this season in the doldrums. Playing on lines with guys like Patrick Sharp, Marian Hossa, Patrick Kane, and Jonathan Toews can't hurt either. I think Frolik will find his time with those guys in Chi-town quite productive.